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07/02/06
Song 2, Lyric 2 – It’s been a long time coming. Christophé and Chanél were very happy together, living in Geldoff’s idyllic Garden Centre of Edam. However, they were warned about not eating anything off the prize winning apple tree. For if they so much as touched the tree, they would be forced to leave the Garden Centre and would no longer be able to enjoy the extensive range of goods at rock bottom prices. After a couple of minutes of entering the Centre, Christophé became curious about the tree and found he had no self-resistance to ‘shiny things’. Luckily for him, Chanél was a woman and carefully made a list of the pros and cons of eating the fruit. This went on for a whole week of 11 days, until a serpent called Roger decided to take matters into his own hands (for he did have hands). Roger told them the apples were a magic fruit (something about keeping doctors away) and that by eating them they would become uber knowledgeable. This was a major selling point for Christophé as Chanél was a bit of a know-it-all, but being the gentlemen he was, he let her try it first. (Christophé wasn’t stupid.) Roger picked an apple off the tree and handed it to them; Chanél took a bite. Seeing she was alright, Christophé then tried it. After trying countless times to figure out the meaning of life and why the hell belly button fluff was always blue, they both realised that Roger had tricked them. Roger then laughed and went back home to read 'Manipulating Humans for Dummies'. To make matters worse, Geldoff saw that a piece of fruit was missing from the tree and got very angry. He’d been saving that as an anniversary present to Mrs Geldoff. To show his anger, Geldoff told them he would carry out his threat on the first person who ate the fruit. He analysed the bite marks, took teeth samples and concluded it was Chanél. She was booted out through the sacred automatic doors. Christophé was upset. His girlfriend was now stranded in the hellhole called ‘Earth’. And she was naked. And he was a man. A human-shaped blur ran through the Garden Centre doors. That was the last time man saw paradise. Geldoff was not best pleased that his new creation had deserted him, and so took his anger out on Roger. Snapping his arms off and giving them to the octopus. |